Four Seasons in Belgium

A Million Little Things, by James Frey.

I simply recommend this book for Everybody!
It is very simple yet honest, charming and inspirational, dark but funny.

A memoir of an alcoholic who tried to be sobber and doing what he believes in.

This is of course not a parenting book. But I think every parent in the world should read this. The part when James confess to his parents is really emotional. Scary, but deep.

Of course no parent in this world would ever want any bad thing happens to their little treasures. But then again, who are we? We might try to be the BEST MOM or even a super mum, but there is a fact that we cant deny: WE ARE HUMAN.

Human makes mistakes, Human has limited power.

Unlike James, I believe in the higher power. But I do agree with him, that parents cant control everything. Every parent should realizes that every child is a different creature. And one more thing; their not ours, their God’s.

Society judges parents. If a kid doesnt behave, the parents are to blame. If something bad happened to the child, again, it was the parents’ fault.

When it’s not the society who judges, parents judge themselves. When the child is sick, you blame yourself. When your baby fell, you think you didnt watch her carefully, so again it’s your fault. Sometimes,even  husband and wife fight, blaming each other when something is wrong happened to their child. Then you blame the doctors, the nurses, the vaccinations, the pills and drugs.. The society…

I guess it’s human nature to keep seeking who’s to blame. Maybe it’s a part of denial or even acceptance process.

Sometimes people just forget that we have limits.
Sometimes people just forget that things are simply meant to be happened.

So what should we, parents, do then?
Just let the kids do whatever they wanna do?

No.. of course that’s not what I meant.
I still wanna do the very best for my baby. Do everything within my power to make her life happy and rich. But I also need to realize that it doesnt only depend on me and my  darling husband. In some point, we just have to accept whatever the future might hold…

still.. I’m hoping for the best…

Yeah, yeah.. As a mom I know how annoying it is when some people make stupid comments about your precious one.

So I wanna share you this.. Hopefully it can help you to ‘get back at them’.

Dont forget to say it calmly, with grace and put on yr BEST smile ever…

Them : when will you stop breastfeeding or when will you wean them from bottle or pacifier or when will you start potty training?
You : Hmmm, I dunno.. I guess when she starts college? (give ‘em your most serious look)

Them : Your baby is soooo big.
You    :- I know! Isn’t he cute? (with proud)
           - Yes, I’m training him to be a sumo wrestler (again,  with proud)

Them : Your baby is so skinny
You    : - Of course. She’ll be a model soon, so she has to start watching what she eats!
            - Well, yeah, she’s just like me.. slim, sexy and gorgeous. And you know what? The best thing is she’ll never have to be on a diet, ever! (best to answer fat people.. i bet they’ll shout their mouth up foor good).

Them : My baby can do this, this  and this..
You : - Really? I bet every mum thinks their baby is the best in the world.
         - You know what? My baby cant do all of those things yet.. but I love her to death (this will give them the guilty feeling)

Them : Your baby is sooo cranky!
You    : - I know, she’s having a PMS!
            - I always teach her to express herself. It’s very good for her social skill in the long term. You know that, Dont you? (this will make them feel stupid)

OK? That’s all the lesson for today,For more tips on how to handle unwanted advises, I recommend you to go to this link! A good source for parenting advises.

Tepat 5 hari lagi, gue akan menjadi  ibu dari seorang putri berumur 18 bulan.
Yup, Alyssa bakal berumur 1.5 tahun, soon…
She’s a biiiig girl !!!

How time flies…

Banyak hal yang berubah dalam diri gue selama 1.5 tahun. Alyssa mengajarkan gue untuk melihat dunia dari sisi yang lain. Sisi yang berbeda.

Dulu, gue berpikir bahwa gue akan bahagia, kalau gue punya karir yang hebat, duit segudang, rumah di daerah elite, jadi ngetop seperti celebritis dan orang memandang gue dengan penuh kekaguman karena kesuksesan gue atau kepintaran gue atau ketajiran gue.

Sampai Alyssa datang dan membuka mata gue.

Coba kasih Alyssa sepotong kue. Dia akan tertawa lebar, berteriak ‘aciii…!’ -gak jelas apa maksud dia ‘asyik’ atau ‘makasih’-
Yang jelas dia terlihat… bahagia.

Yup. Akhirnya gue pun tersadar… Buat jadi hepi itu nggak perlu susah kok! simple things in life can be treasured in so many different ways… pertanyaannya adalah gimana cara kita memandang hidup ini…

I wish I was as wise as Alyssa…

Sebelumnya, gue adalah orang yang banyak maunya, dan sangat gak sabaran. Segala hal mesti dilakukan dalam tempo yang sesingkat-singkatnya, seperti proklamasi. Semua harus sesuai schedule. Prinsip gue sama seperti judul skripsi gue dulu. It’s all about efficiency and effectivity!

But Alyssa has aaaaall the time in the world!

Dia berhenti untuk mengagumi bunga yang tumbuh di sepanjang jalan saat summer. Dia berhenti untuk melihat salju jatuh di depan mukanya. Dia berhenti untuk mengelus kucing omanya yang sedang bobo di dapur. Dia berhenti untuk berdansa di depan TV bersama Madonna!

I guess that’s what life is all about.

Life is too short to worry about everything. Ada saatnya kita harus berhenti sejenak, diam dan menikmati apapun yang bisa kita nikmati.

Buat gue sekarang, yang terpenting adalah menikmati masa kecil Alyssa.

To Alyssa,
If you read this one day.. Mama hopes that you know how much I love you.
There might be times when Mama forget.. to kiss you, to hug you or to play with you.
But please understand that Mama loves you so much..and please understand that Mama wont stop trying to be a better mom, a better person.. for you.

Thank you for teaching Mama so many precious lessons in life.

with love,

Mama

Weekend was fun.
I had a party with Belgina (a bunch of cursed Indonesian Women who got trapped in belgium/holland). The party was called 7up, because it was on the 7th Jan, and we had to dress up in 70ies style.

I had great time despite the fact that we were so tired chassing Alyssa around.. (next time, I’ll dump her with her oma!). Another thing was, we desperately needed to smoke but of course that was off the question. — Btw, today is exactly 1 week of life without cigarette!, Congratulation Fanny and Jo… yay!!! —

The year begun with a promising happiness.

First, I had great new year parties (3 parties in 2 days) with the in laws family and relatives, involving POLE DANCING.

Yup, you got that right. I and my mother in law had some crazy pole dancing there.

On the second day of the year, I received a very surprising news that brighten up my day. Imagine waking up in the morning exhausted but then when you checked your mail you found out there was an exciting news there! Bless the technology!

I was so happy I couldn’t stop smiling. I called Jo and I sms-ed my family in Jakarta. Mom said she was so proud of me. That made me feel even happier. I’ve always wanted to make her happy and proud of me… it’s like a dream come true.

Talking about dream, I’m a person who always believe in the power of it. I once read a biography of a famous person that if you believe in your own dreams, someday you’re gonna make it. And since then, I’ve always dream BIG.

The thing is, sometimes people doesn’t really aware of what exactly do they want. I had always thought that I wanted to be a carrier woman, working in a sophisticated office, wearing some fancy suit. There were times that I felt I crashed my own dream and life when I decided to get married, have kid and be a stay home mom.

Only a couple months ago I realized something. This is exactly the way I wanted it back then, when I was still in junior high, doing BP (Bimbingan Penyuluhan). There was a question about where would I be in 5, 10 years time. And my answer was, in 5 years, I’d be graduated and start working. In 10 years time, I’d be married and have kids and stop working until my kids are old enough.

So I guess, my dreams are not shattered after all. Some of them are just shifted.

A lot of people lives on someone else’s dreams. Someone else’s expectancies. I did too…

I hope this new year, can be a new beginning to all of us. To start living and fighting your own dreams. I believe the key is to be truthful to yourself. Look deep inside your heart and let it tell you what she wants…

Happy 2006!!!